Listen

I once read a book called "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers. It is a great, sad book about life in a small Southern town during the Great Depression.



The town's citizens don't really know each other. Times are tough. Everyone is poor and struggling to make ends meet. Even though they live in the same small town, every one lives their lives separately, both because they don't want others to know about their struggles and because they aren't interested in hearing about anyone else's.

A man named John Singer moves into town. He is quiet, patient and easy to talk to. Soon, many people visit Singer to do just that. They tell him things they don't tell anyone else and in so doing, they are able to unburden themselves of worries and fears they were keeping inside. They also share with him their secret dreams and desires. By doing this, Singer's visitors begin to feel hopeful and optimistic where they were sad and lonely before. The simple fact that they have found someone who seems to value them, who listens to them, makes them feel better about themselves and the world in general.

The thing is, these people aren't really confiding in Singer. You see, John Singer is deaf. The citizens of the town are so desparate for someone to talk to that they confide in someone who can't hear, let alone understand them. Later, when something tragic happens to Singer, he cannot find anyone to talk to, not only because he has trouble making himself understood but because noone is interested in listening to him.

Singer finally finds some comfort in the company of a 13 year old girl. She is the friendless daughter of the owner of the house in which Singer lives. She is viewed by most people in the town as a little odd. She starts to talk to Singer, and in turn, tries to understand what he is trying to tell her. They slowly build a genuine friendship based on their willingness to listen to each other.

One of the points the author tried to make with this book is that, in order to build meaningful relationships, one of the most important skills you must have is the ability to listen. She also points out that, in order for a relationship to work, both sides must try to listen to each other.

Listening does not mean simply waiting for your turn to talk. It means hearing, understanding and reacting to what the other person is saying. Relationships are built on mutual understanding. The first step in reaching that understanding is listening to each other.