From the song Go Tell Roger
Ever wonder why some people seem to have lots of friends while others have few? How some people can get along with anyone while others always seem to be left out? How you just like some people even though they aren’t really close?
I recently had a meeting with a parent who was concerned about her child’s lack of friends. As we talked, I thought about what I’d seen of her child on the playground and realized why s/he didn’t have any friends. It’s because this kid doesn’t know how to make them.
Making friends takes skills. Social skills. Social skills that can be learned, but, unlike math skills or science skills, must come from the heart, not the head.
Making friends can be, for some, a puzzling topic. Many books have been written on the subject. One, “How to Talk to Girls” was written by a 9 year old boy.
Another, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has been in print for over 70 years.
I once was required to read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” for a job I had. It has a lot of good stuff in it, but none of it is magic. Rather, it provides a lot of common sense advice on how to make and keep friends. Anyone can learn and practice the skills in the book. The book was written for adults in business, but as I think about it and thumb through it now, I realize that kids can really use the advice written in it. Practice the principles in the book and you will, indeed, win friends.
So how does one go about making friends? I'll be posting a series of posts on the subject. This is the first.
The first thing one should do when trying to make friends is to be, well, friendly and approachable. The easiest way to do that is to smile.
I can remember the first time I met, when she was in 3rd grade, a girl who is now in 5th. She never said much because she hung out with her 5th grade sister. But she always had this dazzling smile on her face. This made her seem approachable. I know that her smile made me want to get to know her.
When I was in elementary school, my brother had more friends than me. That's because while I was trying to be "cool", my brother had a smile for everyone. In fact, his nickname was "Smiley".
So, step one: Smile!
"The shortest distance between two people is a smile." ~Author Unknown
"The world is like a mirror, you see? Smile, and your friends smile back." –Japanese Zen saying
3 comments:
yay! good post!
i luv puppies
Very nice advice!
Who was the kid?
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