An Example for All of Us

Among the PE events that students and I most look forward each year are the tournaments.

The kids like them because at their best, tournaments are fun, friendly competitions in which teams can earn prestige and the right to play for a grade level championship at lunch, in front of a big crowd.

I like them for completely different reasons. I really enjoy watching what begin as random groups of kids learn to trust each other.

As their trust grows, so do the groups’ confidence. This turns the groups into real teams which get stronger as the tournament goes on. Many kids thrive in this atmosphere and achieve things they never have.

Best of all, I get to see what kids have inside them. Tournaments give me a glimpse of want kind of adults the kids will grow up to be.

This year’s soccer tournament was especially gratifying. The 5th grade teams made unusually strong bonds because almost everybody made a point kept each others’ buckets full. As a result, every player did everything they could to help their team succeed. Many kids played the best soccer I’d ever seen them play.

Some of the kids demonstrated responsibility, leadership and sportsmanship skills that transcended a mere soccer tournament.  What they did went well beyond what I normally see in these events.

There was Elise, a 4th grade captain, who, after learning that she was to give awards to two members of her team, talked to me three times about how to do it without hurting people’s feelings.

I later learned that she took this responsibility so seriously that she lost sleep at night and she practiced her presentation speech with her mom in order to make sure that everybody understood the reasoning behind her decisions.

Then there was Tommy, a 5th grade captain.

Tommy is an excellent player who sacrificed his own chances to score goals. Instead, he chose to make sure that all of his teammates got a chance to score. He talked constantly to his team; directing them, encouraging them and keeping them focused. He even took responsibility for the things that didn’t work out. Because of the positive atmosphere Tommy created, nobody on his team was afraid to make a mistake. In fact, a girl who told me that she hated soccer because she was afraid of the ball became an offensive force by tourney’s end. And, a boy who’d never played soccer before scored a game winning goal after a pass from Tommy.

Most of all, there was Sam, a 3rd grader.

When it comes to tournaments, I don’t expect as much from 3rd graders as I do from 5th graders. I expect all 5th grade teams to get along and work hard together. My expectations for 3rd graders are different.

Third grade classes don’t always have tournaments. Sometimes, they don’t play well enough. Sometimes their classes are too small. Usually they don’t know how to compete peacefully. Last year, one 3rd grade class couldn’t even line up without an argument. Needless to say, they didn't get a tournament.

If a 3rd grade class does get a tournament, the best I can usually hope for is that everybody participates and that there aren’t too many arguments. As I started the 3rd grade tournament this year, I held my breath and hoped for the best.

What I saw was one of the greatest displays of sportsmanship I’ve ever seen.

Sam is a highly skilled and very accomplished soccer player. He is a very creative goal scorer who knows how to set up a goalie, then take advantage of her/him. He is also an excellent passer.

The first thing I noticed about Sam was that he never called attention to himself. He scored dozens of goals during the tournament and never bragged about it once. He would simply score then go get ready for the next kickoff.

The next thing I noticed was that, after scoring enough goals to insure that his team would win, Sam would stop shooting. Instead, he would pass to his teammates and let them shoot. Normally, I have to tell teams that are way ahead to do this. Sam chose to do this on his own.

Sam also called penalties and fouls on himself and his team. If a ball made even the slightest contact with his hand, intentionally or not, he’d stop play, declare “hand ball” and give the ball to the other team. If he tripped someone, he’d call the foul on himself and award the ball to the other team. If a teammate committed a penalty or a foul, Sam would make the call, often jogging across the field to help place the ball.

If there was questionable goal, Sam would always make the right decision whether it helped or hurt his team and did it such a way that nobody got upset.

As I watched Sam play, I found myself marveling at Sam’s sense of sportsmanship and fair play.

When I saw him call a handball on himself after a ball he didn’t see coming brushed the back of his hand, I wondered: “how many kids would I have called that on themselves? Would I call it on myself?”

Answers: none and no.

Sam’s team was very good. It often won by very lopsided scores like 5 or 6 to 0. Usually in situations like that, the losing team gets frustrated and angry and the game turns ugly. But Sam and his team never got into a single argument. I believe that this is because everybody knew that Sam’s team was playing fairly, honestly and humbly.

At the end of each game, Sam was always the first person in line to shake the hands of the opposing team.

Sam’s team made it to the lunchtime championship game. As you might expect, their opponent was very strong. It had two players, Kellen and Jason, with ability equal to Sam’s.

The opponents had a very good strategy. Each time Sam had the ball, both Kellen and Jason guarded him. Because of the double team, Sam only shot two or three times, usually losing the ball or passing out of the double team instead.

When the other team had the ball, Kellen and Jason passed it back and forth until one of them had a shot. Together, they took about 10 shots for every 1 that Sam’s team took. Still, because of a great performance by Sam’s team’s goalie, Seaver, neither boy scored. It looked like the game would end in a 0 – 0 tie.

Throughout the game, Sam, despite the importance of the game and number of opposing players surrounding him whenever he had the ball, remained true to himself. There were a couple of moments where a referee’s decision was needed, but no call was made. In each instance, Sam made the correct call himself, awarding the other team the ball on several occasions.

This didn’t go unnoticed.

“Wow,” said one observer, “he’s really fair!”

Then, with about 55 seconds left in the game, Jason, under pressure from Sam, passed to a third teammate, Danny. Danny, who hadn’t done anything the whole game, found himself wide open about 12 feet in front of the goal.

Seaver, as he should, stepped out of the goal to both pressure Danny and limit his shooting angles.

Danny took a big kick in an effort to hit the ball really hard. He almost missed it.

Instead of driving it, Danny popped it up. The ball rose about 10 feet into the air and headed for the goal. Seaver was caught in no man’s land.

All Seaver could do was turn and watch helplessly as ball floated over his head, under the crossbar into the net for a goal.

It was a perfect shot, yet completely accidental.

While Seaver held his head in disbelief, Sam grabbed the ball, kicked off and tried to even the score, but there wasn’t enough time. His team lost, 1 – 0.

Sam’s team was in shock. Sam tried valiantly to hold back tears, but wasn’t quite able to do so. Kellen’s and Jason’s team jumped up and down in jubilation.

It was a fantastic game. Everyone in it should have been proud to be a part of it. I wanted to make sure that everyone realized that. I started to tell the teams to line up to congratulate each other.

Sam beat me to it. Before I could say anything, I saw Sam, wiping his eyes with one sleeve, walk over to the other team and shake all their hands.

Throughout the soccer tournament, Sam exemplified the true meaning of sportsmanship. He set an example that all of us would do well to follow.