Do you see how the first four steps are interconnected? By smiling, using other people's names and listening, you are demonstrating a genuine interest in other people. People will really start to like you. Now let's learn how to turn this likability into real friendships.
Most friendships are based on common interests, likes and dislikes. Good friends know and understand each other. So, how do you get to know somebody without seeming nosy? How do you learn what another person's likes and dislikes are? How do you demonstrate interest and understanding?
This is actually pretty easy if you're really interested in people and you are a good listener.
You accomplish all of the above by encouraging people to talk about themselves.
People, especially kids, love to talk about themselves. As detailed in a previous post, most kids' conversations are really kids taking turns talking about themselves. That isn't a real conversation. It is people talking at each other instead of to each other.
If you want to know someone better and you want them to feel that you are interested in them, all you have to do is let them talk, while you ask questions that show you are interested in what they have to say. If they are interested in you, they will give you a chance to talk, too.
Example:
Potential friend: "I had a swim meet this weekend."
You: "Me too! How many events were you in?"
Potential friend: "Four. 50 free, 50 fly and two relays."
You: "How did you do?"
Potential friend: "One second, one third and two firsts."
You: "Wow! That's good!"
Potential friend: "Thanks. How was your meet?"
See? The result of this little conversation is that two people discovered they have a common interest. One (you) demonstrated interest in the other by asking questions that allowed the other a chance to talk and the other, after talking, reciprocated. They next time the two meet, they will have something to talk about and will be able to talk to each other, not at each other.
Step Five: Encourage people to talk about themselves
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2 comments:
hi mr tog i gest love your cess top you had on today. einy chans you would want to be the pe techer at the middil school next year. ps. you really really really really rock from ginger lazarus school park room 1
Ms. A would talk at us not to us, that's how you describe her. Is that where you got that that example? This is Daisy, by the way, mwahahaha!
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