Tips On Taking Tests

So, testing starts this week. Are you nervous? Try not to be.

I've always been a good test taker, so perhaps I can help. Here are some strategies that I use when taking tests:

1. Relax. Your brain works much better if you are calm. If your mind is racing, take a couple of slow, deep breaths and concentrate on breathing regularly. This slows your heart rate.

2. Use Positive Self Talk (see earlier post). Doing this really helps you relax. If you keep telling yourself you can do something, you will be able to do it.

3. Don't stress about time limits. Worrying about how much time you have left only makes things harder. It isn't a race, so work at your own pace.

4. Don't stress out if you can't answer the first few questions. This is probably because, despite all your efforts, your mind is racing and you are too excited. If you can't answer a question, don't dwell on it. This will add stress and waste time. Instead, move on the next question. If necessary, keep skipping questions until you find one that you can answer. Once you do that, you will calm down and will be able to do your best. Don't go back to the questions you skipped until the end or unless you flash on an answer (sometimes questions are related so answering one can help you answer another).

Good luck!

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo is a latin expression which means "something for something". This is a simple, yet very important principle that is used in business, law and interpersonal relationships. Understanding and using this principle will help you to have successful interpersonal relationships of all kinds.

All it means is that in order to get something, you must give something. For example, everyday at recess, somebody has a snack that others want to try.

Typically, some hungry kid will say to the snackholder: "Ooh! Can I have one?", to which the reply is usually, "No!".

Kids who are successful at getting the snackholder to share offer something in exchange, like some chips for a cookie. This is quid pro quo.

While this is a simple idea, it is also important to understand that what you offer to should be of equal or greater value to what you are trying to get. So, an offer of, say, one chip for one cookie might not get you the cookie. Doesn't mean that the snackholder is being mean, just that s/he doesn't think it's a good deal. If you really want the cookie, keep offering more chips until the snackholder thinks it's fair. If you think s/he's asking too much, walk away. This is called bargaining, which I may talk about another time.

Quid pro quo is an important principle in friendships. In order for a friendship to be healthy, it must benefit all friends. You aren't always going to agree with each other, or want to do the same things, so there must be some give and take. Sometimes you give something to a friend on the promise of something in return later.

Let's say two kids want to go to a movie but can't agree on which movie to see. In the interest of the friendship, one kid says "we'll go to the movie you want to see today, if you'll let me choose next time". That's giving something to get something, quid pro quo, but also a gesture a frienship. The second kid, in order to maintain the friendship, should accept the offer, then keep the promise in the future.

See, that's where a lot of so-called friendships break down. One person will make an agreement with another in order to get their way, only to break the agreement later. That's not a friendship. Real friends keep their agreements.

Other relationships have no quid pro quo at all. Instead, one person always gets what s/he wants and never offers anything in return. That's not a friendship at all, but one person using another for personal gain.

So remember, healthy relationships use the principle of quid pro quo. A healthy relationship is one in which everybody involved benefits.

Incandescent

Candice Wiggins is a basketball player who also happens to be one of the greatest leaders I've ever watched. I've never seen her in person, only on TV, but her presense is so powerful you can almost feel it through the TV screen.

I am not the only one who feels this way. She is decribed by the media as "joyous", "luminous" and, my favorite, "incandescent".

The first time I watched her play one thing was immediately apparent: she loves to play basketball. Her love for the game is evident in almost everything she does on the court, but most obvious because she plays with a smile on her face.


Wiggins never gets upset with her teammates, so matter what. If the team is playing poorly, she'll say something encouraging and get them to focus on doing one thing better. If the team is nervous, she'll do something to get them to relax. And, when everybody on the team is struggling, she'll take over the game herself. She, like any truly great athlete, has the uncanny ability to do whatever is needed, in a particular game, to help the team win.

Wiggins is also very humble. She never talks about herself. As Stanford's best player, she is often interviewed. In these interviews, she never takes credit for her team's success, but talks about all the things her teammates do to help the team win. If the team loses, Wiggins takes the blame herself.

Because of all of these things; her love for the game, her unselfishness, her relentlessly positive attitude and her will to win, her teammates absolutely love her. They even have a saying about her:

"Where there's a Wiggins, there's a way"

Trust

We've got eight weeks left together. Eight weeks until you graduate and move on to middle school. I want to make the most of the time we have left.

Ever notice how you have classes on math and science and history and music and PE but none on social skills? I mean, we teachers talk about honesty and responsibility but we never really show you how to weave these things into your every day life or how they affect your relationships with people. This seems to me to be a very important subject, for without some guidance, it is really easy to go off in a wrong direction. Middle school can be like that; a bunch of kids with limited knowledge thinking they know more than they really do. Dangerous, too.

There is a saying that says "Forewarned is forearmed". This means that if you know about something before it happens, you can be prepared for it. Over these next few weeks, I'm going to let try to let you know what to expect in middle school and what you can do to prepare for it.

This is the pitfall of middle school: during your time there, you will undergo a dramatic change in the way you look at things. It's called puberty. You will become attracted to members of the opposite sex. It is perfectly natural, but some of the behaviors that go along with this change can be very hurtful. For starters, people of both genders will judge you, without knowing anything about you, solely on the basis of how you look.

I once had a student who always had a smile on her face. She'd constantly joke with me and always seemed to be in a good mood. After she left Park, I didn't see her again until she was in 7th grade. When I did, she'd changed completely. She didn't smile, and she barely talked, even when directly spoken to. She was listless, and lacked enthusiasm for anything she did. I asked her mom if she was okay.

"I think she's trying to figure out who her friends are," she said.

I also see a lot of other former Park School students who seem to be doing great. When I see them, we chat and they excitedly tell me about all the things they've been doing.

I almost always see students of this second type with a group of kids. In other words, they know who their friends are.

So, this is the first hurdle that you must overcome. Know what a true friend is, and who they are. How do you know?

Remember this: the foundation of any interpersonal relationship is trust. Who do you trust? Are you trustworthy? Trustworthy people are honest and treat each other with respect. They are your friend no matter who else is around and they don't say nasty things about you behind your back. Anyone who engages in untrustworthy behavior is not a friend.

So, figure out who your real friends are, and be true to them. Earn their trust by being trustworthy. If you have friends you can trust, you can handle just about anything.

Rivals

Caleb and Wilson (not their real names) were two former students at Park.

Caleb was really good at all sports. He was also tall, good looking and a genuinely nice person. By nice, I mean that he always said hello to everyone, treated everyone kindly, didn't care if his team won or lost and never got upset. As a result, he was very popular with classmates, teammates, teachers and parents.

Wilson was also a very good athlete. Wilson was good at all sports too, but got mad when he lost and wasn't all that friendly to people he didn't know. Throughout his time at Park, he made it his mission to do better than Caleb.

During fitness testing, Wilson would ask me how Caleb did before and after each test. He also wanted to know Caleb's 40 yard dash time. He always checked the standings during PE tournaments to see how Caleb's team did. If Wilson did better than Caleb, Wilson was happy. If he did worse, Wilson would mope.

"Why do you worry so much about Caleb?" I asked Wilson.

"Because we're rivals." Wilson replied.

A conversation between Wilson and Caleb might go something like this:

Wilson: "I ran a 6 second forty. What did you run?"

Caleb: "I don't really remember."

Wilson: "You really don't remember, or won't tell me because I was faster?"

Caleb: "I don't remember. I wasn't listening when Mr. T announced the times."

You see, Caleb just went about his own business. He never really cared about results or standings or how anybody else did compared to him. He never got upset or happy about team or individual results, no matter how good or how bad. To him, they were just games, and were fun no matter what. He was just always the same old, easy going, happy go lucky Caleb. He had no idea that anyone viewed him as a rival.

Whenever Wilson or his team performed better than Caleb's, Wilson let Caleb know.

"We beat you!" Wilson would say.

Caleb would look at Wilson, smile and say, "Yeah, you guys played great! Good job!" then he'd pat Wilson on the back.

Wilson, instead of feeling happy, would walk away disappointed. That's because for him, it wasn't enough to win. Wilson also wanted Caleb to be jealous because of it.

It just goes to show you: it's only a rivalry if both sides see it as one.

Rhythmic Movement Routines

Some of the PE routines are now on YouTube (8 so far). Go to the video bar on the right to see them...

Anti-Fashion

Benny Gold is a skateboarder. He is also a clothing designer. Gold's designs are popular with people who don't like being told what to wear or how to dress. Call them anti-fashionistas, if you will. He has designed clothes and accessories for Huf, Nike, Stussy and New Era. He now has his own line of clothing. His designs are inspired by the graphics he used to see on the bottom of skateboard decks. Most of his designs are limited editions.


Gold's stuff is extremely popular amongst the anti-fashionistas. In 2006, he designed a line of shoes, t-shirts, hats, hoodies, stickers and skateboard decks commemorating the 100th anniversary of the San Francisco earthguake. People waited outside stores for 3 days in order to get their hands on some of this stuff. Ironic, isn't it? Some people are so not into fashion that they would wait 3 days and nights outside a store to prove it.


It just goes to show you: It can be fashionable to be unfashionable. There is a style for everyone and whatever style you choose, you won't be alone. It's okay not to follow the crowd.

Coyote Invasion

One night after basketball practice, I saw a coyote in the MVMS parking lot. It looked at me casually, then slowly walked away. I've also seen a coyote on Mt Tam while riding my bike and I saw one at the Headlands.

Coyotes are survivors. They are very smart and very elusive. They can adapt to almost any environment. They can be seen occasionally, but will keep to themselves as long as people don't feed them. They will go almost anywhere that they can find food and shelter. Lately, they've been seen, in increasing numbers, in Golden Gate Park.


One woman, in an interview for the San Francisco Chronicle, said of the increasing coyote population: "It's ridiculous, They're a disaster for the existing bio system"

The woman is wrong. Coyotes are native to this area, so it's not like they don't belong here. There won't be a population boom of coyotes, but only as many as the ecosystem will support. A closer look at the woman's background reveals her true concern: she's a feral cat rescuer!

A feral cat is a house cat or the offspring of a house cat that was released into the wild. Feral cat colonies can be found in many city parks. Feral cat colonies are "disasters" to existing bio systems, for they are non-native predators who survive in greater numbers than they should because people feed them. When the food that people give them isn't enough, feral cats go hunt the native wildlife. Example: there are no California Quail in Golden Gate Park. Reason: feral cats ate them all.


Feral cat colonies are a bigger problem than coyotes. How humans can help: spay and neuter pet cats and don't feed feral cats. Serendipitous natural solution: let the coyotes control the feral cat population, by (sorry kitties) eating them.

By the way, just where are these Golden Gate Park coyotes coming from, anyway? Based on tissue samples, they seem to be coming from Marin County. Which means that, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, coyotes are crossing the Golden Gate Bridge!

Fashion

I heard this crazy rumor the other day. I heard that some of the fifth grade girls are worried about telling a particular classmate what they are wearing to graduation because they are afraid that this classmate won't approve. I call this a crazy rumor because it must be a joke, right? You aren't going to let somebody else's opinion of your clothes decide whether you should feel good or bad about the way you look, are you? Whether or not someone likes what you are wearing is simply a matter of opinion and everybody has, and is entitled to, their own. You just can't please everybody. So, when it comes to your clothes the only opinion that matters is your own (and your parents'). If you like it, wear it. Don't give in to peer pressure. This is just another form of bullying.

One of the biggest self-esteem issues girls and women face is that of body image. Please, please, please avoid that trap. The trap is letting other people's opinion of how you look affect the way you feel about yourself. You are way too young to worry about this. Other peoples' opinion of how you look should have nothing to do with how you feel about yourself.

The clothes you wear can, in fact, say something about who you are. You are free to be who you want to be. Your clothes can be a way to express yourself. Don't let some classmate's opinion choose your clothes for you, and especially, don't feel bad if they don't approve.

Do you know who Diablo Cody is? One night last month, she showed up for this big party for which attendees spent thousands and thousands of dollars on their designer gowns and tuxedos. Cody didn't. In the middle of the party, Cody had to go on stage in front of these expensively dressed glamourous people in a gaudy dress that was so short that she had to hold it down while walking to the stage. She had a tattoo on one shoulder. She looked totally out of place, but she was proud. That's because the party was for the Academy Awards and she was onstage because she had just won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for Juno. Do you think that she would have become a great writer if she had given in to peer pressure? Doubtful.


One final thought. Do you know the real reason that clothing styles change every season? It's the same reason that there are always new cel phones, cars, ipod colors, webkinz and anything else that people buy. It is simply a way to get people to spend more money. Manufacturers and their advertisers make buyers feel like to have to have the latest thing.

We don't really need new clothes every season, so clothing makers come out with new colors or fabrics or styles then make us think we need them lest we go out of style. It's a scam.