The Myth of the "Popular People"

Every year at every school a group of kids will get together at every recess, find some remote, but visible corner of the playground and hang out.

The behavior of this particular group is slightly mysterious to the other schoolkids, because the group acts in a secretive way. They huddle together and laugh amongst themselves.


They move to another area when others approach. They speak in a peculiar code in which normal English phrases have a special meaning that only they understand. They talk about subjects which are taboo and which they don't really understand, but like to pretend that they do.

The other kids at school see this group in a variety of ways. Curiosity. Indifference. Envy. Disdain.

The English language has many names for a group like this. Coterie. Posse. Clique. Gang. At the group's school, however, they are known as the "Popular People".


How does such a group get this name? Is it because they more popular than other kids?

I suggest, no matter how much the kids in the group would like to think so, that the answer is no.

I do think that the mysterious, secretive, exclusive behavior of this clique gets it a lot of attention, for it gives others the impression that they know something that non-members don't or are having some fun that others can't. This creates curiosity about what goes on in it, envy in those who want to be a part of it (even though they don't know what goes on in it) and disdain among those who think they are poseurs.

The "Popular People" clique isn't about popularity at all. It's about getting attention. The people in it and who want to be in it think that attracting a lot of attention makes them popular. This is a misunderstanding of what popularity is.

Cliques are basically small groups of people who share some kind of common interest, like a particular kind of music, or video games, or fashion. Cliques are not about popularity. Cliques are about separation. Cliques are often filled with people who aren't sure who they are or lack self confidence and need some kind of assurance or identity. Membership in a clique gives its members a sense of belonging and sometimes, a sense of power.


Here's where the problems start. If a clique gets too big, membership in it is no longer special. If anyone could join a clique, it is no longer exclusive. In the case of the "popular people" clique, it no longer gets attention. So, members devise strategies to control the size of the clique. When "choosing" new members, this can mean making the person who wants to get in do something mean or embarrassing to someone else, like choosing between friends (we'll be your friend only if you stop talking to...)

Once accepted, a member isn't guaranteed a permanent place. People are often expected to prove their worth by engaging in embarrassing, dangerous or mean-spirited activities like Truth or Dare, bullying non-members, hazing (bullying wannabe members) or shoplifting. For many, membership in a cliques creates, instead of a sense of belonging, a sense of anxiety because of the constant need to prove oneself.


So you see, "Popular People" is really just a bad name for a clique. This clique, like any other clique, is not about popularity at all. In this case, it's about exclusion, getting attention and power. The more attention you pay it, the more powerful its members think it is. If it's hurting other people, the best thing you can do is defend those who it is hurting without paying attention to the clique. If it doesn't get attention, it will wither up and go away.

A person doesn't need to be part of a clique to be popular. In fact, a genuinely popular person usually doesn't belong to any one clique, but can move freely from one group to the next. A genuinely popular person is one who treats everyone with respect and who is, in return, respected by everyone. This is called mutual respect. At their core, truly popular people have a high level of self confidence and self respect. A great example one one such person is President Obama.

Truth is, it is far more important be respected than merely popular. Some people become popular for very superficial reasons, only to become unpopular when the thing that made them popular is no longer "cool" - think Brittney Spears.


There is a kid at Park who seems to have no close friends, yet is able to talk to or play with almost anyone. When she has no one to talk to, she simply finds something to do, like read, or build something, or join a game. To me, this indicates a very high level of self-confidence, something far more important than fleeting popularity.

Is she popular? Not in the classic sense, but she is well respected. I know because she got more votes than any other 5th grade girl in the hockey team captain election.

As for the "popular people"? In PE captain elections over the years, members of this clique rarely get elected; perhaps 10% of the time at most. They aren't so popular or respected after all. Their "popularity" is just a myth.

The Spirit of Service

One of the things I like best about President Obama is that he means what he says. Many politicians will say things or change their position on issues simply to get votes. Obama isn't like that. Obama displays a personal characteristic common to the greatest of leaders: integrity.

Obama won the election by promising the average American that they would have a voice and a role in his government. To see how effective this message was, all one had to do was turn on the television on Tuesday morning and look at the huge crowd that turned out for his inauguration.


It is said that 3 million people visited Washington DC for this event. Many had no tickets and no place to stay. Some people drove 90 hours just to be there.

In his speech, Obama constantly emphasized his belief in a government "Of the people, by the people, for the people". He did this in a subtle but significant way. Instead of a speech full of the word "I", he used the word "we". In fact, in his speech, Obama used the word "we" 61 times.

Obama's speech was also full of words like "responsibility", "honesty", "loyalty", "humility" and "generosity". These are all traits of persons of strong character. By mentioning these traits, President Obama was telling us how important they were and asked us to develop them, in ourselves and in others. If we can, once again, became a nation of strong character, Obama says, America can regain the worldwide respect it once had, and once again set an example for the world to follow.

One of the ways to accomplish this is through what the president calls "the spirit of service". It was this spirit, the idea of doing or creating something for the good of all mankind, that made America great. Instead of going through life thinking only of ourselves, Obama asks that we reach out and volunteer to help others succeed.

Obama's first call for volunteer service took place before he took office. He asked the nation to turn Martin Luther King day into a day of service. People responded in overwhelming numbers. War veterans who turned up for food drives were so surprised at the number of volunteers who showed to help that they wept. This is one small example of the power of the people.

Volunteer organizations that help our communities, nation and world can be seen everywhere.

The Peace Corps,


Americorps,


Greenpeace,


Boy Scouts


Girl Scouts,


CYO


and our PTA

are all staffed with volunteers. Without volunteers, the United States might not even exist, for the soldiers who fought for America's freedom during the Revolutionary War were all volunteers.


At Park School, we encourage the spirit of service, too. By volunteering for, and serving on, Green Team, Student Council or as a Peaceful Playgrounds Coach,


you are helping make Park School a great place to be. Your contributions as volunteers are very valuable to the school and can be very personally rewarding. We hope that your experience as a volunteer at Park will encourage you to volunteer for good causes for the rest of your life. This will make our community, our nation and the world a better place.

The Law of Unintended Consequences, Revisited

Brown Pelicans have been in the news lately. Many of them have been turning up sick and disoriented. Scientists believe that the cause is either eating red algae (poisonous) or unusually cold weather (I guess that isn't a problem anymore, eh?).


Pelicans are pretty cool birds. They are very awkward on the ground because of their huge beaks, but very graceful in flight. During the summer and early fall, one flock of pelicans can be seen soaring above the south end of the Golden Gate Bridge and another in the Strawberry side of Richardson Bay.

Anyway, this story reminded me of how, about 30 years ago, brown pelicans almost went extinct. The reason was a pesticide called DDT. DDT was intended to kill insects that fed on food crops. DDT did its job very well, but it had unintended side effects. One of the most devastating effects was to cause bird eggshells to be very thin. The shells would crack way before they were supposed to, causing the bird embryos inside them to die. The two species of birds most deeply affected were brown pelicans and peregrine falcons.


Both species have since recovered, but what happened to them is another example of how mankind, in its efforts to make life easier for itself, does things that have unintended and potentially disasterous consequences.

The first time I became aware of the "law of unintended consequences" was in the early 1960's. Back then, a drug called thalidomide was being given to pregnant women in order to help them sleep and reduce the effects of morning sickness. Unfortunately, thalidomide was not tested very carefully before it was given to these women.

The results were horrifying. The babies born to these women were severly malformed with extra long bones, flipper like feet, extra fingers and toes and sometimes, whole extra limbs or no limbs at all. In Europe and Africa, approximately 10,000 thalidomide babies were born.

Thankfully, only 17 thalidomide babies were born in the United States. That's because a doctor named Frances Oldham Kelsey, who worked for the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA), refused to allow thalidomide to be sold in the US.

After the thalidomide incident, drug testing became much more rigorous worldwide. Nonetheless, even drugs that have been thoroughly tested before approval have unexpected side effects.

One of the most prominent examples of this is Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). MRSA is an antibiotic resistant form of a very common household bacteria commonly known as staph. If you've ever had a infected cut, the infection was probably caused by staph.

Now, most common staph infections can be handled by your body's immune system and most infections can be avoided entirely if you thoroughly clean and treat bleeding wounds quickly.

MRSA first appeared in hospitals, which are full of people with weakened immune systems. Because of their weakened states, hospital patients need help to fight off infection. This help usually takes the form of drugs called antibiotics.

Now, no drug is 100% effective, so some staph would survive the antibiotic treatments. The surviving staph would reproduce and, in reproducing, pass along the characteristics that allowed them to survive the antibiotic treatments.

The result is MRSA, which is basically a super staph. People infected by this form of staph take a long time to heal. Some people never do. MRSA used to be found only in hospitals, but it is now showing up more and more often in public places such as locker rooms and pools. The lesson: if you get a wound that bleeds, wash it thoroughly with soap and water as quickly as possible. This will go a long way towards preventing infection.

Man made chemical related unintended consequences are not limited to medicine. Here are two involving household products:

1. Sunscreen

Anyone who spends a lot of time in the sun should put sunscreen on their skin. Unfortunately, some sunscreens are known to kill coral reefs, which are very fragile and a very important part of the oceans' ecosystems. The following sunscreens are both effective and don't kill coral reefs:

Avalon Baby's sunscreen SPF 18; Badger's SPF 30 sunscreen; California Baby's SPF 30; Juice Beauty's Green Apple SPF 15 moisturizer; and Kabana's Green Screen SPF 15.



2. Triclosan

This is an antibacterial chemical which kills bacteria by disabling their ability to reproduce. It can be found in many household products, including liquid hand soap, dishwashing liquid, toothpaste and some clothing. It is very effective at killing bacteria and does so in such a way that bacteria haven't found a defense for it.

Problem: triclosan doesn't break down in water. Water treatment plants don't filter it out of the water. This means that it is accumulating in our rivers, lakes and oceans. Triclosan has been shown to kill beneficial bacteria, algae and some young fish. Worse, once triclosan does break down it is believed to turn into dioxin, which is an extremely toxic chemical.

Triclosan has been in use for more than 30 years. At first it was used only in hospitals, but, as seen in the list below, can now be found in many household products. Even as its use is expanding, triclosan's effect on the environment are only recently being studied. A study of its usefulness to the average person concluded that most people don't get any real benefit from it....


Household products containing triclosan:

SOAP: Dial® Liquid Soap; Softsoap® Antibacterial
Liquid Hand Soap; Tea Tree Therapy™ Liquid Soap;
Provon® Soap; Clearasil® Daily Face Wash; Dermatologica
® Skin Purifying Wipes; Clean & Clear Oil Free
Foaming Facial Cleanser; DermaKleen™ Antibacterial
Lotion Soap; Naturade Aloe Vera 80® Antibacterial Soap;
CVS Antibacterial Soap, pHisoderm Antibacterial Skin
Cleanser, Dawn® Complete Antibacterial Dish Liquid,
Ajax® Antibacterial Dish Liquid.
DENTAL CARE: Colgate Total®; Breeze™ Triclosan
Mouthwash; Reach® Antibacterial Toothbrush; Janina
Diamond Whitening Toothpaste
COSMETICS: Supre® Café Bronzer™; TotalSkinCare
Makeup Kit; Garden Botanika® Powder Foundation;
Mavala Lip Base; Jason Natural Cosmetics; Blemish Cover
Stick; Movate® Skin Litening Cream HQ; Paul Mitchell
Detangler Comb, Revlon ColorStay LipSHINE Lipcolor
Plus Gloss, Dazzle
DEODORANT: Old Spice High Endurance Stick Deodorant,
Right Guard Sport Deodorant
Queen Helene® Tea Trea Oil Deodorant and Aloe Deodorant;
Nature De France Le Stick Natural Stick Deodorant;
DeCleor Deodorant Stick; Epoch® Deodorant with
Citrisomes; X Air Maximum Strength Deodorant
OTHER PERSONAL CARE PRODUCTS: Gillette®
Complete Skin Care MultiGel Aerosol Shave Gel; Murad
Acne Complex® Kit, ®; Diabet-x™ Cream; T.Taio™
sponges and wipes, Aveeno Therapeutic Shave Gel.
FIRST AID: SyDERMA® Skin Protectant plus First
Aid Antiseptic; Solarcaine® First Aid Medicated Spray;
Nexcare™ First Aid, Skin Crack Care; First Aid/Burn
Cream; HealWell® Night Splint; 11-1X1: Universal Cervical
Collar with Microban
KITCHENWARE: Farberware® Microban Steakknife Set
and Cu�� ing Boards; Franklin Machine Products FMP Ice
Cream Scoop SZ 20 Microban; Hobart Semi-Automatic
Slicer; Chix® Food Service Wipes with Microban; Compact
Web Foot® Wet Mop Heads
COMPUTER EQUIPMENT: Fellowes Cordless Microban
Keyboard and Microban Mouse Pad
CLOTHES: Teva® Sandals; Merrell Shoes; Sabatier Chef’s
Apron; Dickies Socks; Biofresh® socks
CHILDRENS TOYS: Playskool®: Stack ‘n Scoop Whale,
Rockin’ Radio, Hourglass, Sounds Around Driver, Roll ‘n
Ra�� le Ball, Animal Sounds Phone, Busy Beads Pal, Pop
‘n Spin Top, Lights ‘n Surprise Laptop
OTHER: Bionare® Cool Mist Humidifi er; Microban®
All Weather Reinforced Hose; Thomasville® Furniture;
Deciguard AB Ear Plugs; Bauer® 5000 Helmet; Aquatic
Whirlpools; Miller Paint Interior Paint; QVC® Collapsible
40-Can Cooler; Holmes Foot Buddy™ Foot Warmer, Blue
Mountain Wall Coverings, California Paints®, EHC AMRail
Escalator Handrails, Dupont™ Air Filters, Durelle™
Carpet Cushions, Advanta One Laminate Floors, San Luis
Blankets, J Cloth® towels, JERMEX mops
List of Products Containing Triclosan
Pesticides and

Unintended consequences are all around us and most don't have anything to do with drugs or medicine. Can you think of any?

What Were Your Favorite Movies of 2008?

At this time of year, it seems like every media outlet publishes a bunch of 10 best lists. 10 best books. 10 best TV shows. 10 most influential people. 10 most significant events. 10 best movies.

Well, here's a chance for you to chime in. What were your favorite movies of 2008?

To get things started, I'll share my list. Since I don't see as many movies as a journalist, I'll just list 5 favorites. I'll also list some honorable mentions and some busts in order to give you an idea of what kinds of movies I like.

2008 movies that I haven't yet seen but will: Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, Gran Torino, The Wrestler.

Honorable mentions:

Iron Man: A very well made film with an interesting main character played extremely well by Robert Downey Jr, but in the end, this movie follows the same basic plot line as almost every other superhero movie ever made, so it's really nothing new.

Kung Fu Panda: Beautifully animated and well voiced, with well written dialogue containing many tributes to martial arts movies of the past, this movie was funny, exciting and poignant but again, the plot line was very familiar.

Tropic Thunder: A movie about making a war movie in the jungle in which the cast of the movie finds itself in the middle of a real war without knowing it. Great idea with some really funny moments, but not enough to make the top 5.

The Dark Knight: Great looking with a great villain, but too long and overdone. I think that this movie is a favorite of movie critics and viewers because of the sad and premature death of the actor who played the joker, Heath Ledger (he was the best thing in the movie).

The Band's Visit: A police band from Egypt, a Muslim country, goes to play in Israel, a Hebrew country, but gets lost. Very good movie, but a little too slow.

The biggest disappointment:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The people who made this completely forgot what made the earlier Indiana Jones movies great; self-deprecating humor and cliffhanging peril. This movie's action sequences were way too long. It wasn't funny either.

The top 5:

Please note that this is a listing of my favorites and that I'm not asking you to go watch these movies. Some of them are "R" rated.

5. Forgetting Sarah Marshall:


A man gets dumped by his famous girlfriend so he takes a vacation in Hawaii to forget about her. Problem is, his ex shows up at the same place. A fairly common story line made into a really good movie by the secondary characters, which include the man's brother and his wife, a hotel waiter and especially the new boyfriend and the hotel's hostess. All very good and all very funny.

4. In Bruges:


The story of two gangsters who are sent on a forced holiday to the city of Bruges in Belgium. The older gangster thinks the city is beautiful and interesting, the younger one is bored to tears. Very well acted and very funny. Who knew that Colin Farrell could do comedy?

3. The Bank Job:


The strange true story of a major bank robbery pulled off by a seemingly incompetent gang of buddies and the unexpected consequences that resulted from it. Full of surprises, intricate, absorbing, intense and funny.

2. The Visitor:


A middle aged college professor living a life in which he does the same thing every day is asked to go to New York. Upon entering his apartment there, he find strangers living in it. They slowly re-awaken him to the joy of living.

My favorite movie of 2008

1. Wall E:


I admire all Pixar movies, but in the end, it is clear that they are meant for children, for they lack subtlety and there is always a period in the middle of them where I get bored. Wall E is different. There were several moments when watching this film that I thought to myself "wow". The opening 30 minutes, in which there is no dialogue, is brilliant. The many messages the movie is trying to send, about how humans are destroying the Earth, the importance of human interaction and the power of love are never said aloud, but sent through the visuals and the actions of the characters. Great art design, beautiful visuals, funny and touching, I think that this is the best movie Pixar has ever made.

Okay, that's my list. What's yours?

Diet Coke + Mentos

For more videos of weird and funny experiments, go to Eepybird.com.